I finished my Interviews for my Mission tonight. What a wonderful feeling that is, to know that my Call will be here in just a few short weeks! It has been a long and twisted road to get me where I am today. Full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and even a couple loop de loops... But I wouldn't change it. I've grown into the person I am because of all the trials I've faced and lessons I've learned. Sure I've made mistakes, big ones in fact. But I know the truthfulness of the Atonement. I know that my Savior died for me so that I can have the wonderful blessing of Repentance. During my lesson on Sunday with the Laurel Class (all one of them), we talked about the importance of Forgiveness. As I pondered what I was going to teach them, I realized that my understanding of Forgiveness was rather limited. Yes, I know I've been commanded to forgive, that it is important and necessary. But that doesn't mean it's easy and certainly doesn't tell me how to do it! I though back on the major events in my life, knowing that during some of them, I was treated horribly by people I was supposed to trust and lean on. People whose job was to take care of me and keep me safe. How could they do that to me? How am I supposed to forgive that?
The Scriptures refer to forgiveness in two ways. 1.) The Lord commands us to repent of your sins and seek His forgiveness. 2.) He also commands us to forgive those who offend or hurt us. I'm not sure which one is harder for me. Probably the first one, because I am far harder on myself than to other people. And I would like to be perfect. I don't want to make mistakes. I don't want to feel the guilt after sinning. I want to choose the right at all times! But that's not Heavenly Father's Plan. He doesn't want us to sin or make wrong choices, but He knows it's important for our learning and growing. He gave us agency to use wisely. Not to go crazy and do whatever with. I have, like all of us, had to repent. It was extremely humbling. It was the best feeling knowing that I was forgiven.
But how am I supposed to forgive others who have treated me so horribly? I'm not talking about being called a baby on the playground for liking Barney (not that I do, but I have grown fairly fond of Arthur). I mean real things... HUGE things! Would I ever be able to forgive a drunk driver if they hit my child? Would I ever be able to forgive a man who walked into my school and shot my friends? How could I forgive that? The Savior counseled, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do goo to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you, and persecute you."(Matthew 5:44) He set the perfect example of forgiveness when He was on the cross. Referring to the Roman soldiers who had crucified Him, He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. (Luke 23:34) At this point in my life, I don't think I could do that, but I think I'm getting close.
Two weeks ago in Young Women's we had a lesson on Grace. I sat in on the Mia Maid class. Being the only adviser is great, that means I kinda do whatever is needed! I listened to the lesson and realized, my knowledge of Grace was limited as well! I knew what it was... sorta. And I have a niece named Grace, but that was about it. Grace is the love and strength of our Heavenly Father. After we have done all we can do, and it's still not enough, He comes and covers the rest. How wonderful is that?! I can forgive those people who have hurt me, I just need my Saviors help to do so.
I chose my favorite scripture in High School, one that always stuck out to me. In Alma, Ammon says "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak' therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his Strength I can do all things; yeah, behold many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise His name forever."
With Heavenly Father's strength I can endure all things! It's such wonderful knowledge to know. I still have a hard time forgiving people, not always, but sometimes. It's good to know that if I work hard, and do everything I'm supposed to, that Heavenly Father will take care of the rest. Because "in His strength I can do all things." When it is my turn to see Heavenly Father (again), I want him to be pleased with what I've done with my time on Earth. I want to live my life in such a way, so that when I meet Him, He will take me into His arms, and say, "My daughter, you have done well."
