IT'S HERE!!!

Well, technically, it was here over a month ago. I'm just not keeping up with blogging like I had planned to. Here it is!!!! 

 "Dear Sister Silva, You are hereby called to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Wisconsin Milwaukee Mission."

This is my mission boundaries. It covers about half of Wisconsin and goes into the top part of Michigan as well! 

I received my call on a Friday night. I was closing at Ross and the family was waiting for me at the Grandparents in Bayside. It was getting later and later and I still wasn't off. Finally I got off at almost 10 and then rushed home and rushed over to the grandparents. I got there and everyone was waiting for me. We got a sister on the phone and I opened my Call. I started crying and almost couldn't make it through. I was so happy and excited to see I was going to Wisconsin. I'm not excited however, for the cold and possibilities of Tornadoes. But as long as they stay away from me, we won't have a problem! 

I was endowed at the Medford Oregon Temple this past Saturday, the 25th. Scuff was also endowed earlier that morning. It was amazing to go through the Session with so many people that I love!

Scuff and Me

Bishop and Sister Lund and Me

Scuff, and Bishop and Sister Lund

"My Daughter, You Have Done Well."

I finished my Interviews for my Mission tonight. What a wonderful feeling that is, to know that my Call will be here in just a few short weeks! It has been a long and twisted road to get me where I am today. Full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and even a couple loop de loops... But I wouldn't change it. I've grown into the person I am because of all the trials I've faced and lessons I've learned. Sure I've made mistakes, big ones in fact. But I know the truthfulness of the Atonement. I know that my Savior died for me so that I can have the wonderful blessing of Repentance. During my lesson on Sunday with the Laurel Class (all one of them), we talked about the importance of Forgiveness. As I pondered what I was going to teach them, I realized that my understanding of Forgiveness was rather limited. Yes, I know I've been commanded to forgive, that it is important and necessary. But that doesn't mean it's easy and certainly doesn't tell me how to do it! I though back on the major events in my life, knowing that during some of them, I was treated horribly by people I was supposed to trust and lean on. People whose job was to take care of me and keep me safe. How could they do that to me? How am I supposed to forgive that? 

The Scriptures refer to forgiveness in two ways. 1.) The Lord commands us to repent of your sins and seek His forgiveness. 2.) He also commands us to forgive those who offend or hurt us. I'm not sure which one is harder for me. Probably the first one, because I am far harder on myself than to other people. And I would like to be perfect. I don't want to make mistakes. I don't want to feel the guilt after sinning. I want to choose the right at all times! But that's not Heavenly Father's Plan. He doesn't want us to sin or make wrong choices, but He knows it's important for our learning and growing. He gave us agency to use wisely. Not to go crazy and do whatever with. I have, like all of us, had to repent. It was extremely humbling. It was the best feeling knowing that I was forgiven. 

But how am I supposed to forgive others who have treated me so horribly? I'm not talking about being called a baby on the playground for liking Barney (not that I do, but I have grown fairly fond of Arthur). I mean real things... HUGE things! Would I ever be able to forgive a drunk driver if they hit my child? Would I ever be able to forgive a man who walked into my school and shot my friends? How could I forgive that? The Savior counseled, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do goo to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you, and persecute you."(Matthew 5:44) He set the perfect example of forgiveness when He was on the cross. Referring to the Roman soldiers who had crucified Him, He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. (Luke 23:34) At this point in my life, I don't think I could do that, but I think I'm getting close.

Two weeks ago in Young Women's we had a lesson on Grace. I sat in on the Mia Maid class. Being the only adviser is great, that means I kinda do whatever is needed! I listened to the lesson and realized, my knowledge of Grace was limited as well! I knew what it was... sorta. And I have a niece named Grace, but that was about it. Grace is the love and strength of our Heavenly Father. After we have done all we can do, and it's still not enough, He comes and covers the rest. How wonderful is that?! I can forgive those people who have hurt me, I just need my Saviors help to do so. 

I chose my favorite scripture in High School, one that always stuck out to me. In Alma, Ammon says "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak' therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his Strength I can do all things; yeah, behold many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise His name forever."

With Heavenly Father's strength I can endure all things! It's such wonderful knowledge to know. I still have a hard time forgiving people, not always, but sometimes. It's good to know that if I work hard, and do everything I'm supposed to, that Heavenly Father will take care of the rest. Because "in His strength I can do all things." When it is my turn to see Heavenly Father (again), I want him to be pleased with what I've done with my time on Earth. I want to live my life in such a way, so that when I meet Him, He will take me into His arms, and say, "My daughter, you have done well."

Mission Bound

It has been a while since I last posted.... many things have happened. I have moved back home. Home to my beautiful Redwood Trees, the ever vast ocean, and the constant beat of rain against my window. It's been an amazing 3 weeks and things only tend to get better. I'm almost done with my mission papers, they should be finished up next week or so. Only my interviews left and some horrible dentist appointments, where I will be getting a deep cleaning of my back teeth.... Great.
I'm very excited about serving a mission. Everyday I find more reasons to serve. I love the Gospel so much, it has truly been my Rock all my life. It has brought me the greatest joys and comforted me when nothing else could. My very best friends have come from 3 hour meetings on Sundays and dealing with immature boys every Tuesday night. I would never give up the experiences I've had and the things I've learned from the Scriptures, Conference Talks, and just simple prayers to my Heavenly Father. This is the true church of God. I see His hand is all things everyday, and I can not wait to devote not just 18 months of my life to Him, but my whole life to Him. Starting now with small steps that will soon be solidified by devoting every second of those 18 months to Him.

Plans Change

How I expected my day to go:
8:00am- Wake up
8:30- Go running/ walking
9:00- Shower and get ready for work
9:45- Leave for work
10:00-Work
6:30pm- Get off work
9:00- Dinner with Tiffany
11:00- Doctor Who and other funny shows with Tiffany
1:00am- Bed

How my day actually went: 

8:00am- Wake up, hit snooze
8:30- Hit snooze again
9:00- Hit snooze again
9:30- Get up and dress super fast
9:45- Leave for work
9:46- Slip on ice at bottom of stairs, smash tailbone
9:48- Hobble/crawl/ sob uncontrollably up stairs
9:55- Finally get to apartment (on third floor) and crawl into bed
10:00- Call out from Work
10:30- Fall asleep with bum in air
1:00pm- wake up, expect call from Kyle
1:15- Talk to Kyle for an hour
3:30 Hobble to post office
4:00 Hobble back to apartment
5:00 Make Kool Aid, return to bed, and start blogging... can now sit on bum

Yep, today was nothing like I expected. But some good things did come out of it. I was finally able to mail off the Lund Boy's Christmas gifts, and I didn't have to spend all day working my butt off at Ross (no pun intended.... or was it?) Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and hope to find a good documentary on Hulu....

Hannah and Miriam....

Today I was able to go to lunch with two amazing people, Hannah and Miriam. Over delicious sandwiches and the constant chatter of people around us, we were able to discuss me going on a mission. The fears, the hopes, where I'd like to serve and where I think I'll serve (two very different places, might I add), embarrassing missionary moments, and all the many joys that come from serving the Lord.
There is nothing like preparing to serve a mission. It's so different than planning a wedding, moving out for the first time or having your first child. Not that I know what two of those three things are like, but I would assume not. When I moved from California to Orem, all I could think about was getting to Utah. Nothing else mattered really. I had my housing ready, and my classes for summer semester, but that was it. No job, no idea how I was going to get from place to place, no friends and nothing could have prepared me for the amount of crazy people to make their way through my apartment. Miriam told me today she was so proud of how I did this all on my own, but to be honest, I kind of just stumbled around until things made sense. I don't want that to be how I prepare for my mission. I want everything to line up perfectly and my medical appointments to be a breeze. I want someone to buy my housing contract so I can move and finish my papers. I want to have the desire to wake up early to study my scriptures. I want to be ready for any possible situation I will face.... Now, that just wouldn't be life now would it?
As much as I want things to go smoothly and everything to work out right away, I could be missing out on so many opportunities for me to learn and grow. Take last night for example, when I went to Walmart after work and walked all the way home just to find that the box of wart remover I had bought was empty. I was so tired as I pushed my cart through the store that I just grabbed the box and through it in the cart without looking at it carefully. Now I have to get all bundled up, and brave the cold Utah winter during the 15 minute walk back to Walmart where I will try to explain to their customer service that I bought and empty box on accident and was not trying to steal from them. Now I know I'll be more vigilant when it comes to shopping. It might seem small now (and slightly embarrassing. Seriously, who steals wart remover???), but down the road when I'm ready to buy a car or a house, I'll make sure that everything is right and where it should be so I don't have to worry about the huge pain it will be to fix it.
As our lunch went on, the conversation moved from missionary stuff to parenting stuff, which honestly I think is fun to listen to. It's like a preview to what I will be getting myself into in a few years. I make mental notes and tuck them away until the day when my poor screaming baby has an ear infection. Then I will remember, oh yeah, Miriam said once that garlic and olive oil gets rid of ear infections.... Ta dah! No more screaming baby! Or if my some freaky chance I have twins (and I cringe a little at the thought of it), I will have Hannah and all her words of wisdom about how to not go crazy.... for the most part. Honestly, if I manage in my life to do half of what those two amazing women have done in theirs, I will be one very happy and content mother.

Okay everyone. This is it. My new blog. Lets see if I can manage to keep this one updated better than the last one I had. I decided to make a new blog for a couple of reasons.
1. I forgot the password to my old one.
2. I'm starting a new chapter in my life: I'M PREPARING FOR A MISSION!!!!
3. I need to turn my focus back towards important things. Like the Temple and becoming as Christ-like as I can. Which is a lot easier said than done.

I am not married. I'm not in a serious relationship with anyone. I'm not in school. I work at a dead end job. I don't have a car. I can barely manage my finances. And I'm broke most of the time. I feel as if my life in Utah  at this point has stopped. It's true, I have learned so much living here and met so many wonderful people, but it's time for a change. Not much makes sense to me here, and as Elder Childers wisely once said, "If you're having a stupor of thought about what you're doing, you probably shouldn't be doing it." I will come back to Utah. That is for sure. But first I feel that Heavenly Father has another plan for me, and that is to board an Amtrak train in Salt Lake with my 2 suitcases, backpacking pack, 2 duffles and a carry on, and make the long, uncomfortable ride all the way to Sacramento, to go home. Just for a bit! I'll finish my mission papers, and go where the Lord needs me to go. I'm nervous and really, really scared, but it will all work out. Heavenly Father's plans always do, even if we can't see it just yet.